The intention of this month’s Kunga theme is to learn to express gratitude using the model for appreciation within the methods of “Nonviolent Communication”. Nonviolent Communication was developed by psychologist Dr. Marshall Rosenberg. The NVC model is a concrete set of tools that help us to manifest mindfulness in our lives. Practicing Nonviolent Communication relates to our Kunga theme of yoga as service because the goal of Nonviolent Communication is to increase understanding, cooperation, and respect in relationships.
Before beginning the practice, it is helpful to understand the NVC model’s definition of feelings and needs. Needs and/or values are considered things that we all universally want, for example:
– physical well – being – food, safety
– meaning – growth/integrity
– autonomy – choice
Feelings are categorized as fulfilled feelings or unfulfilled feelings. Examples of fulfilled feelings include feeling:
Examples of unfulfilled feelings include feeling:
Now, let’s incorporate these feelings and needs into our Gratitude Practice from NVC:
The purpose of sharing appreciation in Nonviolent Communication is simply to celebrate when the actions of others have enriched our lives. We refrain from expressing appreciation to “reinforce” the actions of another.
Sharing an NVC appreciation has 3 components:
1. Observations – Sharing what actions another person took that made your life more wonderful.
2. Feelings – How you feel IN THIS MOMENT (not when it happened).
3. Need – The needs of yours that were met by the action.
1. Recall something that another person did about which you feel grateful. Imagine you are speaking to them right now, and begin by making an OBSERVATION. Ex: “John, When I recall you doing/saying ________”
2. Then reflect or write down your feelings in this moment Ex: “I feel very ________ (your present feeling about what they did or said)
3. Last, identify the needs of yours that were met by this person’s action. “Because it met my needs for ____________________”
Ex: John, when I think about how you repaired my broken front door while I was at work, I feel very grateful and happy because you met my need for safety and support.
For more information on Nonviolent Communication visit their website: www.cnvc.org
For more information on Kunga Yoga visit www.wilmingtonyogacenter.com